I love games that let you unwind in a Zen kind of way. Whether it’s arranging your personal belongings in a title like Unpacking, or driving across a lonely highway in the calming silence of the night in Euro Truck Simulator 2, I can always appreciate it when a game lets you completely tune out the outside world to the point it becomes almost therapeutic. Crime Scene Cleaner, from developer President Studio, follows that same formula, although in an entirely different setting: you’re a janitor working for the mob, dutifully cleaning up one gruesome crime scene after another. Bodies need to be disposed of, bloodstains have to be mopped up, and furniture has to be pushed back in place in order to make it seem like everything is fine and no one died a horrible, horrible death. It’s a tough job, but with the right tools and a bit of elbow grease, nothing is impossible. And in the end, you might even enjoy it. Just... try not to think too much about all the murder and tragedy.
Dirty business
Crime Scene Cleaner is for people like me – someone who enjoys investigating every last nook and cranny of a given location, not just for cleaning purposes, but also to enjoy and appreciate the level and all of its little secrets and references. Simply put, if you’ve got a level design fetish, step right up. In that sense, the game reminded me of the similarly impressive Scene Investigators, except this time, you’re not expected to solve the mystery on your own – you’re just here to make sure each location looks squeaky clean by the time you’re done. The good news is that the main stars of the show, that is, the locations you have to clean, are all satisfyingly varied, come in all shapes and sizes, and each have a personality of their own. And that’s not even mentioning the game’s excellent utilization of environmental storytelling: from making you clean up a stylish pizzeria where a mob shootout had occurred, to inviting you to a seemingly haunted mansion that was the scene of a grisly murder-suicide case, Crime Scene Cleaner always keeps you on your toes, and every single time the protagonist’s phone rang with a new offer, I was excitedly looking forward to finding out what my next assignment would be. Every new level becomes a metaphorical Rubik’s Cube of sorts, just waiting to be cracked, and if you’re willing to really commit to the job, this game is going to keep you busy for a good while – the shorter stages can be wrapped up in or under an hour, while some of the larger locations towards the end of the campaign took me over 2 hours to complete.
The right tool for the right job
You may be wondering what the actual gameplay is like. Well, the trailer pretty much nails it: you grab your tools – your sponge, your mop, your pressure washer – and get to work. Most levels come with multiple floors, several rooms, numerous corpses to be collected and a handful of incriminating evidence to snatch up. The furniture is all over the place, garbage and glass shards litter the floor, the list could go on... but thankfully, every problem has a solution, which I particularly loved about the game. It expects you to be clever about your cleaning. The mop is great for covering large areas of blood, but it can make a mess by pushing objects around; meanwhile, the sponge may be slightly less effective, but it’s excellent for careful cleaning in areas with fragile items like glasses, vases, and so on. As for the pressure washer, it gives you, uh... reach and flexibility, but it also knocks down everything in its path, so maybe leave it for hard-to-reach areas like walls and ceilings unless you want to break every breakable object in a room. You also have various types of detergent at your disposal: some make it easier to clean up difficult stains, others let you cover more ground, and so on. Just be careful with your cleaning bucket, because you can absolutely knock it over if you don’t watch your step. Trust me, I’ve been there. Multiple times.
Clean, evolve, clean some more
By the way, did I mention you can accumulate skill points and spend them on upgrades? Because you totally can. The game gives you an entire skill tree, letting you customize your cleaning repertoire, which was pretty amazing, honestly. Gradually becoming faster and more efficient at cleaning via upgrades made me look forward to each new level even more, just so I could dive in and test my new toys. Personal tip: grab the axe and the flashlight early on so you can 1. see in the dark without having to rely on stationary lamps and 2. you can break down wooden objects without having to punch everything. I would also recommend upgrading your garbage bags so you can carry more than one at a time. As someone who had to run back and forth between the crime scene and his truck to carry half a dozen garbage bags to the disposal area one by one... well, just trust me on this, okay? Or you could just play however you like and figure out your preferences on your own – that’s also an option, which is part of what makes Crime Scene Cleaner so immensely fun and addictive. You’re given a decent amount of freedom, and as long as the place is clean by the end, how you get there is up to you.
A janitor I was meant to be
Crime Scene CleanerPlatform: WindowsGenre: ActionDeveloper: President StudioPublisher: President Studio, PlayWay S.A.Release: 08/14/2024All in all, Crime Scene Cleaner is quite possibly one of the biggest surprises of the year for me, and I certainly didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I did. In fact, I was genuinely bummed out when I was done with it, because I simply wanted more. The game’s got a fantastic lineup of large, intricate and memorable levels filled with blood, corpses and interesting lore tidbits to uncover, an excellent atmosphere with splashes of dark comedy, and a surprisingly engaging core gameplay loop that actually makes cleaning fun. Each cleaning tool has its purpose, and you’re expected to come up with a “game plan” every time you tackle a new location, and that’s not even taking into account the various upgrades you can purchase as you level up your janitorial skills – it was an absolute joy to figure out my own play style and gradually get more efficient at mopping up messy murder scenes while slowly discovering the harrowing circumstances surrounding each mission. Crime Scene Cleaner often feels like a cleaning sim crossed with a mystery thriller, offering intriguing levels with oodles of personality – but it’s also a game you can just fire up and chill with on a slow evening if you ever need to relax. Highly recommended.
